


Lonely Night

by feentanz



Series: One Shots [16]
Category: Nikolai Series - Leigh Bardugo, The Grisha Trilogy - Leigh Bardugo
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Roommates/Housemates, Drinking Games, F/M, Found Family, Friends to Lovers, Roommates, Truth or Dare
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-21
Updated: 2019-09-21
Packaged: 2020-10-25 10:14:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,315
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20722538
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/feentanz/pseuds/feentanz
Summary: Zoya felt Nikolai stiffen beside her, as she glanced towards him for a second. They were friends. So who cared if they kissed, just for the game? It wouldn’t change anything. She gave an unbothered shrug, giving him a challenging look. “I don’t see an issue with it.” Nikolai’s hazel eyes rested on her for a moment, and perhaps it was the alcohol, but she had never noticed how deep his eyes were. How easy to get lost in. Her head was spinning. This was a terrible idea…





	Lonely Night

The doorbell rang once, the sound making Zoya almost accidently smudge her mascara. “Nikolai!” she hissed, applying another coat to her lashes. “Open the door!” She could hear her roommate’s steps in the hallway, then he glanced into her room. 

“Who are you getting ready for, Nazyalensky?” he grinned, for a second seeming to check out her outfit. “ _ Me?”  _

Zoya snorted, just as the doorbell rang again. “Open the door, idiot.” She straightened her back, looking at herself in the mirror. She looked great, if she could say so herself, although she also didn’t quite know who she had applied make up for and why she had chosen a pretty dress. It was only supposed to be a relaxing evening with their friends - and lots of alcohol, of course. 

Nikolai had finally bothered to open the door, and Zoya quickly slipped into the hallway as well. She was immediately hugged by Genya, who basically jumped into her arms. She smelled of Prosecco already, and a faint bit of cigarette smoke. 

“You started drinking without me?” Zoya muttered into her best friend’s ear, meanwhile taking the full bottle of vodka from her hands which Genya had brought along. “I’ll take this instead.” 

Genya grinned. “We started drinking in the car”, she admitted. “Or I did, David refused”, she added, with a judging glance towards her boyfriend. 

David looked puzzled, then shrugged and walked away towards the kitchen. 

Zoya exchanged an amused glance with Nikolai, who was leading the rest of the group inside, which meant Tamar and Tolya, who were identical twins, and Nadia, Tamar’s girlfriend. They had developed a routine of meeting up during the weekends, usually at the flat Zoya and Nikolai shared, since it was the most comfortable one. 

“Did Nikolai change his hair?” Genya muttered in Zoya’s direction when they had settled down in the living room, Genya deliberately blocking the armchairs so Zoya was forced to sit down on the sofa next to Nikolai. “He looks hot”, she added. 

Zoya rolled her eyes, pretending not to have noticed. Naturally she had - and thought the same thing - but she knew better than to ever act on it. Nikolai and her were friends, good friends, and they had somehow developed a way of living together peacefully and without wanting to murder each other, which she greatly appreciated. But there was no place for messy romance in this routine, and she wouldn’t want it to be any other way. Probably. On some days she was perhaps not so sure. 

Pushing the dangerous thoughts away, Zoya reached out to fill herself a pin of vodka, drowning it. The alcohol burned her throat, but not unpleasantly. 

“Saints”, Genya commented. “How can you drink that stuff pure?” 

Nikolai had sat down next to Zoya, wearing his usual smirk. “She’s crazy, haven’t you noticed? No normal person can drink vodka straight from the bottle.” 

Zoya gave him a honey sweet smile, filling another pin. “Maybe you’re just too weak”, she replied, raising it to her lips. 

As expected, he took the challenge, filling himself his own shot. “You wish, Nazyalensky.” And he drowned it, making a face as the alcohol met his lips. Zoya could only laugh. 

Genya was sighing, sitting up straight in her chair. “We haven’t even started playing yet, guys, stop”, she complained, shaking her red curls. “Have we settled on a game?”

Tamar and Nadia had settled on the other couch across from the table, Tamar now taking out her phone. “You wanna do truth or dare?” she offered. “Who refuses to do the thing or tell the truth needs to drink.” She held up her phone with a smirk. “I have the app.” 

Zoya leaned back on the sofa, her shoulder briefly brushing Nikolai’s as she did so. The alcohol was already settling in her stomach, leaving her feeling comfortably warm. But she didn’t get drunk easily, so she still had a long way to go. 

“Okay Nikolai starts”, Tamar declared, brushing a strand of short black hair back behind her ear. “Truth or dare?” 

Nikolai offered a confident smile, the sort of smile that made all the girls swoon. “Truth.” 

Tamar nodded, selecting the option on the screen. “Who is the prettiest person in the room?” she read out loud. 

Zoya huffed. “That’s easy for him”, she muttered. “Nikolai loves to be the prettiest person in every room.” Even more so he loved letting everyone  _ know.  _

“You think I’m pretty, Nazyalensky?” 

She shot him an an annoyed look. “Shut up.”   
  
A grin spread across his lips. “Can I give my answer now?” 

Tamar shrugged. “Sure.” She was busy pouring herself and Nadia wine into an exceptionally huge glass. 

Nikolai nodded. “I choose Zoya.” 

Zoya didn’t miss Genya’s triumphant grin as the words left Nikolai’s lips. She turned towards him, arms crossed, wondering whether he might already be drunk. “Lying is not allowed, you know.” Not that she didn’t think he was  _ right,  _ but it wasn’t like he had ever paid her any attention, or a second glance. She had thought she simply was not his type. 

Nikolai gave her a playful smile. “Modesty isn’t a good look on you, Zo”, he replied. 

She was really tempted to hit him over the head with the vodka bottle. 

Tamar interrupted quickly. “Zoya, your turn. Truth or dare?” 

Zoya shrugged. “Dare.” 

Tamar’s phone screen lit up. “Text the last person you had sex with”, she read out, her lips curling up in a smile. 

Genya was giggling when Zoya huffed, shaking her head. “In your dreams”, she muttered in Tamar’s direction, pouring herself a shot and lifting it to her lips. She felt Nikolai’s eyes on herself when she drowned it, wondering whether he knew who she would have texted if she had gone through with it. After all, she had brought him to this place. 

“You’re boring, Zoya”, Nadia commented, judgingly sipping on her red wine. 

A few rounds later, everyone was reasonably drunk. Genya had spilled some details about the last time she and David had made out in his car and gotten caught, Tolya had skipped every question and preferred to drink, and Nadia had compiled a list of names of people who she had kissed in her life. 

Eventually, they were back with Nikolai. “Truth”, he said, and Tamar’s app chose the question. 

“Who in this room would you most like to have sex with?” she read out with a grin. “Things are finally getting interesting!” 

Zoya watched Nikolai shift uncomfortably, before he reached for the shot glass.

Genya inhaled sharply. “Just answer”, she laughed, narrowing her eyes as she scanned his face. “It’s not that deep.” 

But Nikolai was already finishing his shot, shaking his head. “Sorry Genya dear, not happening”, he replied, flashing a grin. His gaze flickered towards Zoya for a second, but it was so quickly she might have imagined it. 

Tamar sighed with disappointment. “No more drinking as an escape guys, it’s getting boring”, she remarked, and everyone around the table nodded. 

Zoya filled herself another shot at the prospect of that. “Dare”, she muttered as the vodka burned its way down her throat, leaving her dizzy. Perhaps she should have switched to wine. 

Tamar selected the option, the screen of the app lighting up. Then her eyes widened. “Oh”, she noted, and Nadia began to giggle as she lurked at the question. “It says  _ make out with the person on your right _ .” 

Zoya felt Nikolai stiffen beside her, as she glanced towards him for a second.  _ They were friends.  _ So who cared if they kissed, just for the game? It wouldn’t change anything. She gave an unbothered shrug, giving him a challenging look. “I don’t see an issue with it.”

Nikolai’s hazel eyes rested on her for a moment, and perhaps it was the alcohol, but she had never noticed how deep his eyes were. How easy to get lost in. Her head was spinning. This was a terrible idea… 

And then his lips were on hers, without another warning, without hesitation. She opened her lips under his - because the dare had said  _ make out _ , or so she told herself later on - while her fingers curled up in the front of his shirt, feeling the warmth of his skin through the fabric. Nikolai was brushing her hair away from her face, his lips growing bolder, pressing against hers more urgently. Zoya felt hot, and cold, and everything in between and she wouldn’t have been able to recall anything that happened only a moment later. 

Until - mercifully - Tamar cleared her throat. Zoya pulled away, forcing her eyes open, catching a glimpse of the regretful expression on Nikolai’s face. But then it was gone, replaced by the cocky smile he usually wore. 

Zoya cleared her throat, almost shaking as she reached for the bottle of vodka and took a sip straight from it, the burning liquid washing away the taste of Nikolai from her lips. 

Genya was eyeing her carefully, her gaze questioning. But she knew better than to say anything. 

Instead Nadia took the word, ignoring the sudden tension and continuing with the game. Zoya was very thankful for that. She avoided Nikolai’s eyes the rest of the evening, slipping to the edge of the sofa to bring as much space as possibly between the two of them. Because no matter how much vodka she drank, she wasn’t able to forget how kissing Nikolai Lantsov had felt like. 

The other’s left at around 5am, Nikolai making sure they were all reaching David’s car, while Zoya stayed behind in the kitchen, attempting to clean up the mess. She was still reasonably drunk, and whenever she moved too quickly the world had the tendency to spin around her. She eventually gave up and leaned against the kitchen counter, closing her eyes for a moment. 

When she opened them again, Nikolai was in the doorframe. “Too much to drink?” he commented, but not with the usual teasing tone. Almost strained, in a way. 

Zoya scanned his face for a moment, wondering whether things were different now. But before she could say anything else, Nikolai turned away. 

“I’m going to bed”, he declared.

A sudden wave of anger rushed through Zoya, and it was really quite unfortunate that she was drunk at the present time. Because then she had absolutely no self control. “What’s your problem, Nikolai?” she hissed, crossing through the room and quickly blocking his way out of the door with her body. She glared up at him, and although she was significantly smaller than him, she somehow managed to make that fact forgotten. 

Nikolai hesitated. “Everything is great, Zoya, forget it”, he replied, not even bothering with a friendly tone. He tried to slip past her, but she didn’t move. 

“I didn’t force you to kiss me”, she blurted out, the alcohol having loosened her tongue. The world spun again, and she leaned a little more against the doorframe. Zoya wasn’t used to arguing with Nikolai, but she knew that when they did fight, it usually got quite messy. 

“You also didn’t  _ want  _ to kiss me”, he shot back at her, and for a second the ground beneath Zoya’s feet seemed to sway. 

She reached for the wood of the frame before she could lose her balance, blinking the dizziness away. Then her gaze returned to Nikolai, who was still standing in front of her, giving her a defeated look.  _ You also didn’t want to kiss me. _ “What is that supposed to mean?” she wanted to know, crossing her arms defensively. 

“Forget it”, Nikolai muttered, finally pushing past her and walking towards his room. 

Zoya snorted, following. “You don’t just get to walk away from me!” she demanded, following him into his bedroom. 

Nikolai released a growl of frustration. “Saints, Zoya, just leave me alone!” 

For a second she was actually surprised. In the three years she had known Nikolai, she had never seen him lose his temper. No matter if they had fought or not, Nikolai stayed calm. No matter how Zoya freaked out, he had never done anything of the sorts. Which made some part of her wonder how far she could push him if she really wanted to be cruel. But for now, she wanted an answer. “Tell me what your problem is, and I’ll leave”, she replied, giving him a challenging look. “Tell me why that kiss was such a big deal.” 

“Because you never would have wanted to kiss me if it had not been for a stupid drinking game.” The words blurted out suddenly, and for a second even Nikolai himself looked surprised. 

Zoya froze on the spot, blinking in confusion. Was she hallucinating from the alcohol? Had he really just said that? “ _ What?”  _ was all she had to offer in response. 

Nikolai let out a frustrated breath, still staring at her. “I told you the truth. Happy now?” 

For a second Zoya remained frozen, trying to order her thoughts. But her mind was nothing but a blur, probably a mix of being drunk and being utterly and completely shocked by what she had just heard. That combination was the excuse she used to explain her behaviour to herself later, or to justify what she did next. 

Because without thinking about it any further, Zoya crossed her distance between them and kissed him. She wrapped her arms around his neck almost automatically, feeling Nikola’s fingers running over her back, pressing against the thin fabric of her dress. Again the world was spinning, but this time she blamed Nikolai. 

She barely realized they had moved to the bed, her back now pressed against the mattress as his lips moved over her jaw, throat, down to her collarbones. Her hands pulled the shirt over his head, the fabric falling down to the floor. 

Nikolai stilled for a moment, his lips hovering a few inches away from hers. In the dim light, his eyes were very dark. “Zo”, he said quietly, his fingers brushing along the side of her cheek. “Are you sure?” 

She looked up at him for a moment, then nodded. 

“You’re drunk”, he remarked, still hesitating. 

Like he wasn’t. “Not that drunk”, Zoya replied quietly, hoping that her expression would convey the meaning behind the words well enough. This was not her making a drunk mistake, because if it were, she would have made it months ago. Nikolai and her had been left alone drunk too many times already, and never had anything happened. Because she wouldn’t risk ruining their friendship for something as simple as a one night stand. So now she could only hope that he wouldn’t either. 

In the morning Zoya was woken by the sun poking through the curtains, and the headache which had unfortunately began to spread in her head. She blinked a few times, trying to remember why she was  _ not  _ in her own bed, until she rolled onto her stomach and the reminders of last night came back to her, in the form of Nikolai peacefully sleeping next to her. “Oh Saints”, she muttered under her breath, running a hand through her hair and forcing herself up, silently slipping out of the room. 

However not without making sure to steal one of his shirts, slipping into it and making her way into the kitchen. Her head was burning, but her stomach was worse, and she feared she might have to throw up once or twice before she could get any breakfast down. 

Zoya poured herself a glass of water, leaning against the counter.  _ What had she done.  _ It wasn’t that she regretted it, not even that, but the whole thing seemed utterly stupid. Nikolai was not interested in her. He hadn’t been for the last three years, and he wouldn’t be now. She sipped on her water. He had been drunk, surely that was the reason he had gotten so worked up about everything. 

Simply to distract herself, she continued cleaning up, putting the used glasses into the dishwasher, collecting the empty alcohol bottles, throwing out some old pizza boxes. It kept her busy enough that she didn’t hear Nikolai waking up, not until he appeared in the kitchen, suddenly having his arms wrapped around her waist. 

“You look hot in my shirt, Nazyalensky”, he whispered into her ear, his breathing caressing her skin. “Slept well?” 

Zoya wasn’t quite sure where to go with this new intimacy between them, and therefore she simply nodded and pulled away. “Do you have any painkillers?” she asked, avoiding his gaze. 

But he knew her too well, and so of course Nikolai noticed. He reached for her wrist, keeping her from slipping away. “What’s wrong?” he wanted to know, suddenly keeping more of a distance. 

“Nothing”, Zoya replied, putting her glass down on the counter. Her headache was getting worse with each parting second.  _ How was she supposed to act?  _ What did you do, if you had just spend the night with your roommate? The roommate who was your  _ friend,  _ of all things? One of the only people she trusted. 

Nikolai sighed, letting go of her wrist. He looked lost. “It was a mistake, right? Last night. We shouldn’t have-” He never finished the sentence. 

It hadn’t felt like a mistake. “It only happened because you were drunk anyway, so who cares?” she replied, perhaps sharper than needed. She saw Nikolai flinch at the words from the corner of her eyes, but she didn’t turn to look at him. 

“I wasn’t actually”, he replied, almost too quietly for her to understand. 

Zoya felt a new wave of anger flaring up inside her, not even just directed at him. Mostly at herself. “You’ve  _ never  _ been interested in me, in what - three years?” She shot him a heated glance. “Why now, Nikolai?” 

To her surprise, he began to laugh. “Saints, Zoya, are you really this blind?” He shook his head in defiance. “I’ve been interested since the first time I saw you. But what was I supposed to do? You bring guys here all the time, so I assumed you didn’t return the feeling.” 

_ Oh.  _ Zoya had frozen, her eyes pinned on Nikolai. He was telling the truth, she knew that much. He wouldn’t lie to her. She just needed to process the words for a moment. “You’re serious?” she said eventually. 

Nikolai sighed, running a hand through his hair. “Yes, Zo, I am.” 

Zoya sank back against the counter, closing her eyes for another moment. This was too much to deal with this early in the morning. “So what do we do?” she asked eventually, looking back at Nikolai. 

He slipped closer, casually leaning against the counter next to her. He was close enough for his breathing to brush over her skin, sending a slight shiver down her spine. “Just see where it goes?” he suggested, the familiar gleam back in his eyes. 

Zoya looked up at him, wondering for a second whether he was joking or not.  _ Just see where it goes.  _ “What if we ruin our friendship in the process?” 

Nikolai rolled his eyes, his arms wrapping around her waist as he drew her towards him. “Stop being so pessimistic, Nazyalensky”, he muttered, pressing a kiss to the skin just below her ear. “Start seeing things a little less daunting.” 

She didn’t object, not even when Nikolai picked her up and sat her down on the counter, her face now at the same height as his own. 

“I think it’s worth a shot”, he said quietly, brushing some hair away from her face. 

Zoya looked into his eyes for a moment, wondering whether there might still be some alcohol left in her system which caused her to nod at the words. “You’ll better make it worth my while.” 

Nikolai’s lips spread into a grin. “Oh I will”, he muttered, leaning forward to kiss her. “Don’t you worry.”


End file.
